


Not good enough

by iammultifandomaddicted



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/M, Fluff, Sad, boyfriend namjoon, doupt, happy end, relationship, still feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 10:37:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13479744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iammultifandomaddicted/pseuds/iammultifandomaddicted
Summary: you will never date again.Why? Because no one of them is Kim Namjoon, the man you still love. But he broke up with you, so you will never see him again-





	Not good enough

**Author's Note:**

> Request: Hii! Can I have a drabble 40 and 47 with Namjoon x Female, please?Thank you so much. (by anonymus)  
> Promts: 40) “Shut up and kiss me.”  
> 47) “I am still in love with you.” 
> 
> I can't write summarys. It's not that bad, at least I hope so. Anyway enjoy!  
> b/f=best friend

Thinking off all you’re break ups, you were sure that this had been the worst: screaming, crying, saying hurtful things which you regretted now and then silence when he had left you alone.   
Your best friend had found you the next day, lying on the floor with a tear stained face, cloths and face a mess and a back ache, because you slept on the floor.  
According to b/f words of wisdom, you were now going through the five stages after a breakup, with a person you had deeply cared for and still love.  
Because in the end it had been his decision to leave, he had said: “Let’s break up!” These words were still vivid in your mind and also the pain that came with them, in your heart.  
You had already survived 3 stages and were in the fourth now. At first there were the many questions. Why did he break up? What did I do wrong? Did he find someone better? It’s my fault, isn’t it?  
The second stage was anger and frustration. Angry at him for breaking up. And being angry at yourself for caring so much!  
Then there was the phase where you were staying in bed crying all day. And everything would remember you of him. It wasn’t really helpful that he is famous and on both tv and social media, you couldn’t get around seeing his face. And the worst he looked completely fine, even happy.   
Now in the fourth stage you were full of doubt. About yourself, your life, future…everything. You had lost the love of your life and would die alone.  
This also seemed to be the stage were friends started to get annoyed by you, because you should get over him. Your best friend wanted to constantly drag you around, so you can meet another man fall in love again and that stuff. “Or at least have a one-night stand.” were her words when you declined her offer to go clubbing, today.  
So instead of looking for another man, you stayed at home, watching your favourite drama. Which wasn’t helping your misery, because on TV they happily got together.  
The only thing you had left of your “ex” was his phone number. You hadn’t been able to delete it. He had sent one of his friends, Jungkook during the first week after your breakup, to get the few things he had at your apartment. Jungkook had been awkward and looked at your appearance pitifully. But you did look awful that week. You really had wanted to scream at the poor guy and let all your anger out, but he was probably just chosen because he is the youngest and didn’t enjoy it like you.   
Maybe deleting the number would help you, like your best friend said, to get rid of all the memories. Once you had nearly called him. Your finger had been over the call button. “Joonie” written on the screen with a heart next to the name. You hadn’t even changed the name.  
Getting another text from b/f asking you to change your mind and tag along, you told her again that you weren’t ready. Because no man will ever be as caring, loving and kind as Namjoon had been, before the breakup. And just because no one was Kim Namjoon!  
Maybe it would have been better to go clubbing, but instead you decided to take a walk and visited your favourite park in the neighbourhood.  
The fresh air was good for you, and because it was already getting dark, not many people were there.  
You were enjoying it until you saw him. Namjoon was sitting on one of the benches eyes closed. So, he couldn’t have seen you! Quickly you turned around and tried to walk away as fast as possible.  
Why was he even here? Your whole mind went mayday and you hold your breath.  
“Y/N!” You went dead in your tracks, when you heared an all too familiar voice, calling after you.  
Collecting your thoughts and putting on a smile you turned around to face him.  
“Hey, Joo…Namjoon.” You had nearly used his nickname. “Why are you here?”  
Yeah small talk, what a good choice. Every cell in your body wanted to run to avoid this conversation. It was the first time you heared his voice in real life, since the breakup.  
He was standing a few feet’s away from you, looking at you with an unreadable expression.  
“I was just talking a walk.”   
“You don’t even live near here.” You answered confused. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head.   
“Don’t you remember?” His answers only got you more confused. “Remember what?”  
“We often…came here…I like to remember it.” Wait did he just really say that?  
“Why? we broke up…You broke up with me!” It hurt to say the words out loud and Namjoon also visibly flinched when you said it. Was he regretting it?  
“Yeah…right…” he trailed off avoiding your gaze. “I will go…now…” Namjoon was about to ran away, but you quickly held him back.  
“Wait tell me the truth, why are you here?” You tried to push the feeling of hope away.  
Namjoon hesitated to answer you, he looked at you. You could swear that he was tearing up, but that’s probably just your imagination.  
“I am still in love with you.” Did he just. He can’t play with your heart like that. You felt like frozen. Not able to move to say something, to scream at him, not able to do anything.  
He got worried when you didn’t answer. “I’m sorry…I…Do you remember why we got in an argument that night?”  
You could clearly remember it. He had gotten home late again, but you hadn’t complained, not even when he cancelled your movie night to get some sleep. He had said you didn’t care about the relationship, because if you did, you would be angry that he was barely at home. You were so shocked at his words, that you didn’t answer at first. Because, was he serious, you did everything right, didn’t complain because of his schedule and he was angry? It had quickly escalated into a big fight and ended with him breaking up and leaving. So yes, you would always remember what happened.  
But not trusting your voice you only nod.   
“You deserve someone better then me…I was never at home and spend so little time with you…You deserve so much more…”  
Wait he thought he wasn’t good enough for you? Was that really the reason that he broke up?  
He continued to ramble about how sorry he was and that is was for the better.  
You rolled your eyes before grabbing his collar.  
“Shut up and kiss me.” You cut him off.   
“But…” before he could continue, you connected your lips. How much you had missed the feeling of his soft lips gently moving against yours. You were drowning in the moment, your focus completely on Namjoon. Taking in every movement, the kiss, his hands who caressed your face and the way he stepped closer to, deepened the kiss.  
Breaking the kiss to get air, which you sadly needed to survive, you still stayed close to him.  
“You still love me?”   
“I never stopped.” You answered truthfully. A smile found its way on Namjoons lips.  
“Promise me one thing, Joonie. Never ever think you’re not enough…and please don’t leave me again.”  
“Promise.”


End file.
